One Twenty Five

[Please note, as I tweeted this morning (whoa, I’m so new age), I’m fully aware this post will create lots of different opinions, so please inform yourselves (read the comments/reblogs!) as this is my, personal opinion. I’ve been finding the comments very interesting, I must say.]

I’ve been on both sides of the fence.  

I’ve strolled into a convenience store, reached for some candy, a pop, and a chocolate bar, well… I’ll make it a 100 calorie one, because y’know… I don’t wanna get fat, then walked away, hating on myself, but anticipating each moment until that delicious food can touch my mouth.  I’ve been on the side where a McDonalds small fries as a snack won’t count, and that just one more slice of cheese won’t matter. 

The side where a run, or stepping foot in the gym is unheard of.  Where I’d choose a night of drunken festivities over a run any night of the week, where I truly find the concept of movement foreign, and I’m getting fatter by the day, but it’s o.k., because I know I’ll change tomorrow. 

I’ve also been on the other side of the fence.

I’ve strolled by that same convenience store, and absolutely not comprehended how I could have eaten something so terrible so easily.  How a few times a week I was eating a 350 calorie chocolate bar, getting McDonalds fries, and popping candy like it was job, absolutely boggled (disgusted even) my mind.  Where I ordered the same thing for lunch everyday, “salad please,” and where Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday runs weren’t a question, but a way of life. I’ve been on the side where asparagus and brussel sprouts were food staples, and that alcohol meant empty calories, so why the hell would I do that?

I’ve been on both distinct sides of the fence.  

I’ve felt what it’s like to care, and felt what it’s like to not.  I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and about how we’re supposed to have “balance” in our lives, how we’re supposed to play on both sides of the fence, in order to lead “a well rounded life.” How this is what all these girls out there are being told, “it’s all about balance,” well…

I’m calling bullshit. Right now. This moment. Bullshit. 

To lose weight, to see results, you have to be perfect, 110% of the time (and people, I don’t mean being drastic and stupid when I say this, but healthy). Playing on both sides of the fence may maintain you, but if you really want to lose weight, once and for all, you can’t cheat, not even a little bit, not even at all. 

I’m learning this the hard way. Lest we forget I sat at 165 pounds for nearly two years (two years!) because I was trying to “balance” my life. To lose weight you have to restrict, you have to make sacrifices, you have to give most of it up.  I find we’re all being told to eat 5 small meals a day, protein in the morning, good fats, no-carbs, more-carbs, the-right-carbs, but at the end of the day it’s calories in vs calories out, and sadly, we ladies, simply can’t and don’t have to eat that much.