One Twenty Five

Those four words. Oh the things I could write about those four, little words. Part of me despises them, and you would too, had you heard how they’ve been said to me; condescending, patronizing, if you will. And part of me sees how it could have been encouraging. Sees. But not believes.

When you make a drastic life decision like the one I’ve made, people are sure to step in and judge. On the whole, when I announced my plans to leave my job, travel for a few months, and then set up shop in a new city the reactions were positive, supportive and good. But then there were the people who uttered those four little words above oozing with an ‘I am superior and feel sorry for you’ way.

Quitting my cushy, secure job to globe-trot and give up everything I know and love to move to Melbourne was a massive decision for me. Massive. (Despite it looking easy and sparkly through the eyes of this blog.) To take a leap of faith into an unknown world where no paycheque graces my bank account every two weeks, where there is no long term stability on my horizon, or a loved one a coffee date away, took courage. A lot of courage.

Courage to truly face the person I am, and to see what I’m truly made of.  Everyone I’ve ever known who has bitten the bullet, and made a drastic life decision (which hasn’t been too many people, I must admit) didn’t do it on a whim, or by chance. It was a long drawn out, back and forth decision, which took a considerable amount of time. Time to fully convince themselves that that great leap they were about to take was, indeed, the right next step in the story of their life. And of course, I was no different.

However. Despite not liking those four, little words, I have to admit I understand where the condescending tone ones come from. Firstly the majority of people don’t have the courage it takes to walk away from everything they know and love (and I hope you realize, I truly do not write this from the saddle of a high horse. Sometimes I actually wish my soul was that of a homebody’s) and secondly (am I really going to say this?) I believe humans are selfish by nature, which of course means it’s hard to be genuinely happy for somebody else. I know this, because I am human. I also know this, because of those four little condescending words I’ve heard oh-so-many times above.

And so with that bold (perhaps egotistical?) paragraph, I’ll share with you the quote below (despite not really liking quotes) because in regards to my impeding move, and the debate over whether I’m going to “find myself” or not, Mr. Szasz sums up my thoughts quite nicely:

The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates. ~ Thomas Szasz

So yes, there that is. Take as you will. But you better believe I’m going to give it my all to create my life, one day, one adventure at a time. Because perhaps, just maybe, that’s what this life is all about. Who knows!