One Twenty Five

I am. In-case you hadn’t heard, I am, indeed, I am. I AM NAILING (not sure why I feel the need for capitols there, but I do) MY LIFE. I’m sick and tired of feeling like my life is in the proverbial shit hole for the sole reason I don’t have a guy by my side. Eff that.

I am fabulous. Online and in person. AND IN PERSON. Like, as in real life, dear Internet, as in real life.  Sure, I don’t have have a constant (oh, who am I kidding?) I don’t have anyone ever next to me in bed at night, y’know someone to ask me how my day was, but still, I am NAILING MY LIFE. My passport alone will show you the places I’ve traveled, and the experiences I’ve had. I am lucky. I am fortunate. I. AM. NAILING. IT. (capitals and bold? oh, I went there.) Sure, I quit my job, decided to travel. But that’s my point. I *chose* to quit my stable, my well paying, stable job. I chose to. My decision. I wasn’t fired. I wasn’t let go. I wasn’t forced to. I chose to. It was my decision to leave, to travel, to put myself in this position.

I am living a life well lead. Learning lessons along the way. And seeing the world (partially - still so much more). But now? I am left on the other end of those experiences and have been feeling all sorts of crappy lately. BUT. Like I said, eff that. I AM NAILING LIFE. Marathoner. Traveler. Chance taker. That’s me. Whether that guy at the bar tonight liked me, or the one online winked (okCupid lingo btw) at me, it doesn’t matter. Why? BECAUSE I AM NAILING MY LIFE.

I know who I am. I know what I’ve seen. I know I’ll lose this recent weight. I know I’ll run marathons again. I know how easily I make friends. I know I’ll eventually find a job. I know I’ll figure my shit out at some point. Hell, I know I know how to figure my shit out. Why? Because I’M NAILING IT, I AM.

I had a shitty shitty day today. It was raining in Boston, I felt lazy, I wanted chocolate, I slept too much, and did too little, and felt like such a loser - with nothing in her life but a series of memories. But now, at 1am, I am saying EFF THAT. I know who I am, I know what I’m capable of, and goddammit I’ve decided I’M NAILING THIS LIFE I LEAD RIGHT NOW. Man, or no man. That’s irrelevant. It’s about me. My life. My experiences. And at 27 years young, my Dear Online Friends, know this, I AM NAILING THE LIFE I LEAD, am I, am absolutely wonderful.

THAT IS ALL. Thank you for listening.

ps i reread this. and. it doesn’t make sense. but. i am too lazy to review it. whatever, english majors, judge me for it. I’ll edit it in the morning. Liz #lazy