One Twenty Five

THE STIGMA

I can feel it. It’s everywhere. True, the air has got a lot thinner in the last few years, but still, the judgement is there. My thoughts are this: I worked in a twenty-something male environment for four plus years and never met anyone through work. It was the epitome of where I expected to too, but nope, I never once did. Was it me? Maybe, but for the sake of this post, let’s pretend it wasn’t.

I remember this one time I stepped into an elevator with four, cute guys all around my age (this actually happened a lot). Yay! We’d have 32 floors to climb together. But not a word was ever spoken or glance was ever given. They were all either on their blackberries or staring at the tv screen.

The world has changed kiddies. It’s a lot harder to meet people than it used to be.

Sure, it’s not my ideal way to meet Mr. Prince Charming, but if it’s opening up my chances, why not? Exactly. Also (secret confession) I’ve always had a secret desire to try it.  I suppose a tiny part of that desire is because of this blog… over the past three years people have emailed me I’m “relatable” (perhaps because of my honesty? and thank you very much btw), anywho, I wanted to see if it translated into an online profile.

I know the stigma is still there, and it does scare me sometimes (I’ve definitely been guilty of it too - truth be told it’s the reason I never could bring myself to have a profile in Toronto, because WHAT IF SOMEBODY I KNOW SEES ME ON IT?!?!), but at the same time I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I know who I am. So… (high-five for this, btw) you can judge me all you want, it won’t matter. It’s simply something fun, different, and entertaining for me, which could lead to a blissful, happy, Disney movie, type of love - the love we all secretly want and desire, or just a few good stories to one day tell. Who knows!

THE SITES

“Best online dating website in Australia.” Oh yes friends, that’s how and why I chose okCupid. Plus, it’s free (I’m not ready to spend money on this experiment of mine).

I had heard eHarmony was for older people (knock, knock marriage time), Plenty Of Fish was actually Plenty-of-Sex, which left Match.com (still may try) and okCupid. Really, I had no idea and chose one at random. as per Google’s advice.

And yes, I am located in “Melbourne, Australia,” and no, I am not necessarily looking for the father of my future (super cute) kids. It’s more just something fun, an experiment if you will, to meet people and go on dates!

SO FAR, SO GOOD?

It’s been about a month. Here my quick thoughts on it.

• It’s harder than I thought it be.
• It takes a lot (a lot!) of time and effort
• It’s really easy to forget people
• I don’t think the actual match percentage means anything
• Everything is very public. (last time you signed on, if they read your message, who viewed your profile, etc) I like this. 
• I am way more shallow than I thought I was
• There are shady guys out there. And there are good guys
• It’s safe if you’re smart and not stupid/naive.

THE MEN

Oh Lordy, Lord. Just like most things, there are good ones, and then there are bad ones. Dear Men, Here are my rules:

• Be wearing a shirt in your profile photo, please n’ thank you. I don’t care if you’ve got a 16 pack and biceps made of steel. Less is more gentlemen, less is more.
• If you’re 30, do not say you’re interested in 18 year old girls. Ew.
• Do not list ‘sex’ as one of the things you could not live without. 
• Do not send me a, “hey funky girl.. I love your smile.. you sound like a woman with stamina.. nice :)” (<— REAL msg btw) message.
• You have to have actually read my profile. Include something in your message to prove this. (running? horses? ice-cream? beer?).
• Spell. Check. For the love of God, spell check!!! (Hints: to vs. too // their vs. there // then vs. than.)
• Don’t call me fat.
• Have a photo.
• Like dogs. Want children. 
• Must have a facebook page. With friends/history/photos.

MY PROFILE

Wait, WHAT? You want me to list my, “BODY TYPE?” Effffffff. Should I lie? Average? Holy crap. I am sweating. Fine, I’ll settle on “curvy,” because “full figured,” and “over-weight” just didn’t look as politically correct.

Truth bomb: I filled out my profile in roughly 3.2 seconds. True story. I just sat down and did it, and then didn’t look back. I have no clue how I come off, but I like to think it’s my true self. Who knows.

This is my “Summary”

• What to say? What to say? Let me see… I should mention I’m Canadian (eh?), moving to Melbourne in January (the 28th!!). And despite procrastinating at everything in life, look at me getting a head start in the dating world. I love horses, dogs and traveling. Oh how cliche’! But it’s true. I quit my job in August, packed up my life and headed abroad, y’know, to see the world (Eastern Europe, Nepal, SE Asia).
  
  Although I love traveling and adventure, the couch and pubs also hold a special place in my heart. So to counteract my love of staying in with wine and/or beer and/or hard liquor (hush you) and/or mass amounts of delicious food (I’m looking at you pizza), I run. I completed my 3rd marathon in September, and plan on doing the Gold Coast one in 2012. That makes me sound way cooler/more athletic than I am, so yea… I’ll just leave this summary with that.

I’d ask you for suggestions, but then my profile wouldn’t be, my profile, now would it? :)

PHOTOS

Ugh. Photos. So… I am convinced I photograph way better than I look. Lots of people say this is a good thing, but it’s not. Trust me, it’s not. It’s better to be good looking in real life, not online.  I photograph skinnier than I actually am too. Deceiving to my profile viewer. So yea, that’s scary as hell.  It’s a huge fear of mine, meeting someone who thought I was skinny, and then seeing their eyes dart around my body and realize I’m not. 

So yea… there’s that. I know it shouldn’t matter, but still, I’d then feel like shit about myself which is something I’d like to avoid. I actually tried to add my ‘love of food’ to my profile, and full body shots to let my suitors (wait, can I call them that?) know I aint Little Miss Bikini over here, but still, it was hard to choose.

I ended up choosing random facebook profile pics…

So yup, there’s that. Nobody has really sparked my serious interest yet (c’mon Cupid! Get your shaz togatha!), but then again, I’m not looking that hard. Truthfully I’m at such a funny point in my life I’m not sure any guy could stand my constant changing of plans, and pondering life thoughts… 

But having an online profile has given me hope, and been a nice distraction from life. I get about 6 or 7 messages a day and most of what these Melbourne guys say is really flattering (who knows though, maybe I’m being taken in), which has actually given me more confidence!!  So yea… this little, not-too-serious experiment of mine has given me hope, and in the dating world/game I find that’s what it’s all about when you’re a single-single-single lady. Hope! (peace out Kitty Kats, I’m gonna find myself a man!)