As most people do, I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing moments.
There was that time I heard my name called at my grade 8 graduation, so naturally (beaming I might add) I went up on stage to receive my award, only to be informed they had not called my name.
There was also that time I fell off my chair in grade 10 computer science class and hurt my bum so badly I, in not-so-many-words, nearly peed myself from laughing/crying.
Or that time a sales assistant at a clothing store told my grade 11 self to “try the store for fatter people” in front of all my friends…
But then once in a while a new embarrassing moment comes a long that surpasses all others and takes that number spot of “most embarrassing moment ever.”
Today, October 7th, 2009 takes that spot.
Are you ready? It’s super good. Well good, as in entertaining for you, but mortifying for me…
We had a fire alarm this morning which meant 36 floors of stairs had to be taken to get outside. Usually I love a good fire alarm; umm hello? You get to stretch your legs, grab a coffee, get some fresh air and its all guilt-free.
I left my office building with the gang (keep in mind I’m the only girl in my office) and started the slow descend down the stairs. The stairwells were packed and we were moving about 2 stairs a minute. Sllllooooowww.
Side note: This morning I selected a work skirt to wear I hadn’t worn in a while. When I tried it on it was too big (wahoo!), but as I was running late I still decided to wear it.
O.k, back to the point. At about the 20th floor I glanced up and saw people staring at me, but figured they had to look down as we were going down stairs…, so it probably wasn’t me. OH HOW WRONG I WAS!
At about the 11th floor I thought things seemed a little breezy on my backside and Holy.Fucking.Shit my skirt had fallen down and was sitting on the lower part of my bum and everyone and their mother could see my ass; thong and all!
To make matters worse I was wearing black tights. Firstly, a rear-view look of tights on anyone (even fit) doesn’t look good, and secondly, back in my super-fat days I had cut the waist of my tights with scissors so they wouldn’t dig into my fat, which makes the top of them utterly hideous to the naked eye. Hideous.
Every one saw; every fucking person behind me. People I work with and don’t. I quickly adjusted myself, turned bright red and continued the next 11 flights of stairs in utter mortification.
I still feel sick in my stomach knowing people I work with have seen my butt. Eeek Who knew there was a down side to losing weight?
Also, Dear NYC I am literally going to shop until I drop when I visit you this weekend. I refuse to ever wear something that’s too big for me. Ever. Again. Love E.