December 15th, 2009
17 notes ·

A rebuttal email to myself.  I was bored at work this morning and took a gander through my blackberry’s notepad, where I stumbled across a long note I wrote to myself a few weeks ago, when I was very tipsy, fine! drunk. It was mean, hurtful and hateful. It took me a few minutes to realize I was the one who had written it… yup, I thought I had a mortal enemy out there for a moment. Here is the rebuttal to myself.
___________________________________________________________________

Dear E,

Smile.

Smile because you’re worth it.  You’re worth more than you’ll ever know and simply put? You deserve the world.  That feeling you felt walking to work this morning, tipping your head up to catch snow flakes on your tongue, you know the feeling where utter happiness goes through your body? Well…  it’s yours to keep.  You deserve that day in and day out.

It doesn’t matter what shoes are on your feet, what jacket hangs in your closest, if your hair is curled perfectly, or the boy on the other side of the street notices you. None of it matters. What matters is the person you are.  

Stop beating yourself up. Stop looking at your negatives. Stop.  Eating that extra cookie, buying a chocolate bar, succumbing to the Christmas menu at Starbucks does NOT make you a terrible person.  It doesn’t, I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t. 

You can ‘hate’ yourself all you want, feel stick to your stomach from chocolate almonds, but none of it means you’ve failed, none of it means you’re not worth fighting for, because you are. 

So fight for it: Accomplish your dreams.  Makes long lists of your goals and never give up. Never. Know that the journey is just as important as the destination.

You deserve the world. Keep fighting.

Love E

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December 14th, 2009
29 notes ·
Failure is only a fact when you give up. Everyone gets knocked down, the question is: Will you get back up?
Reblogged from beautiful disaster
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December 14th, 2009
9 notes ·
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
~William Jennings Bryan
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December 14th, 2009
10 notes ·

So… Why am I Festively Plump All Year Round, No Really… Why?

I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately.  Why me? Why was I cursed with being over weight? I know, the answer, we all know the answer… “Well E, it’s because your chubby fingers simply can’t not reach for more delicious, chocolate almonds, they can’t not scoop for more ice-cream, or cut themselves a smaller portion of cake…” 

Which leads me to ask, “why!! can’t I not put, delicious, ass-increasing food into my mouth, especially when I’m not hungry, or bored?”

For years I thought it was simply because I LOVED FOOD. Yes, I, E was a taste-a-holic. The taste was the reason I was fat.  I liked letting the chocolate melt in my mouth, the taste of pasta, and cheese, and candy, and cake, I pretty much loved the taste of all things food.

Until recently that is.

My roommate (of super healthy fame) is away for two weeks right now (side-note: she got her boobs done.  I was actually all for it.. hey! if you’re that self conscious about your body, and it interferes in your life, change it! (if you can)) Anywho, that is neither here nor there, back to the point: 

So I’ve been living alone the last few days, which to be honest? I was really looking forward to, until I got slapped in the face with loneliness and what did I do? Yup! You guessed it, I turned to my good old friends Ben and Jerry, Mr. Kinder, Miss. Starburst, and Mrs. Carbohydrates. It was terrible people. T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E.

It was the first time in my life I made a correlation with shoving things in my mouth and my external surroundings. My God… am I fat because I’m sometimes lonely? Am I trying to make food my friend? Am I letting it comfort me in times of loneliness? Oh. My. God. Revelation much?

I consider myself, or at least like to consider myself, a pretty chatty, out-going, people-loving type of gal.  I surrond myself with people. When I’m alone I dial up The Sister, The BFF, My Mom, The Brother or one of my many other favourites to chit-chat.  I like company.  I suppose, one could even say I feel validated by people’s company.  Thus.. when I’m alone, with no one to talk to.. what’s that? I need to eat. I need to feel loved (Dear God, did I really just type that? Am I actually suggesting publicly I substitute food for people?).

So… yes. There it is.  I think I eat when I’m lonely. I eat to fill the void of being by myself.  Yes, yes I realize this is super pathetic, but meh.  It may be a tiny step for mankind (fine! not even a step at all), but it’s a HUGE step for little old me.

Next time I go to grab the cookies I’m going to ask myself, why I want them, why do I need the satisfaction of eating something? I’ll then remind myself of all the love and support (from family, friends, and even complete strangers in the far off corners of the world) Im lucky enough to have in my life.

Food will not define me.  I will define it, and I hope this is the first step.

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December 14th, 2009
8 notes ·

Things I did this weekend:

  • Left the house for food; Twice
  • Met a boy for drinks
  • Kissed the boy after said drinks
  • Decided I didn’t like said boy after said kiss
  • Made love to my TiVo (not said boy, ha! me so funny)
  • Christmas-fied my washroom
  • Napped
  • Ate poorly
  • Pondered Life
  • Pondered why Im in love with food, because my God… it’s a beautiful, disaster our love affair.
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December 13th, 2009
12 notes ·

My night. My Dinner. My Snuggie.

Asparagus/brussel sprouts because I ate SO SHITTY this weekend (think ice-cream and candy) ps I really tried to skip dinner tonight, but caved… because, well.. umm food and I are just meant to be together, so happy together…

Snuggie that’s pink, because well… I like helping breast cancer and staying warm, all while eating and using the remote to pause, rewind and re-watch Jersey Shore because, well, My God..

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December 13th, 2009
6 notes ·

My Weekend in three words.

  • Snuggie
  • TiVo
  • Ice-Cream

Sigh, it’s now time to be productive and

  • tidy condo
  • respond to emails
  • study for exam
  • grocery shop
  • Write Christmas Cards

So later I can

  • Watch Jersey Shore (omigod, the people who created this show deserve an award)
  • Watch movies
  • Go to sleep before midnight
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December 11th, 2009
6 notes ·
CN-Tower-at-Christmas-Time, Meet Blog, Blog meet, CN-Tower-at-Christmas-Time.

Even though my heart doesn’t 100% belong to Toronto, I love the CN Tower; depending on the time of year it glows different colours (pink for breast cancer month, black/orange for halloween, green St. Patty’s, rainbow for pride, etc).

CN-Tower-at-Christmas-Time, Meet Blog,

Blog meet, CN-Tower-at-Christmas-Time.

Even though my heart doesn’t 100% belong to Toronto, I love the CN Tower; depending on the time of year it glows different colours (pink for breast cancer month, black/orange for halloween, green St. Patty’s, rainbow for pride, etc).

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December 11th, 2009
14 notes ·
Flash Back to 2007If you look up “gullable” in the dictionary you’ll find this photo. I had had my office job for about 2 months and arrived at work late due to (wahoo!) getting my braces off, and sitting on my chair I found a huge yellow bag with a Santa suit in it.  I was told the last person in the office, the day of the Christmas party, *HAD* to be Santa Clause. 
As I was new (and stupid) I actually did it. *shaking head* It was terrible, all the guys old men in my office had to sit on my lap to receive their secret Santa presents. My face matched the colour of the suit.

Flash Back to 2007

If you look up “gullable” in the dictionary you’ll find this photo.

I had had my office job for about 2 months and arrived at work late due to (wahoo!) getting my braces off, and sitting on my chair I found a huge yellow bag with a Santa suit in it.  I was told the last person in the office, the day of the Christmas party, *HAD* to be Santa Clause. 

As I was new (and stupid) I actually did it.

*shaking head* It was terrible, all the guys old men in my office had to sit on my lap to receive their secret Santa presents. My face matched the colour of the suit.

Comments
December 11th, 2009
3 notes ·
My little office did good, courtesy of The Bank.

My little office did good, courtesy of The Bank.

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Welcome! I'm Liz, the girl relieved the Internet has 0 calories. South African by birth; Canadian on paper. A marathoner. CrossFitter. Paleo (somewhat) eater. Traveler. Cheese lover. And I think you're great!



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