November 19th, 2009
6 notes ·

I know, I know I’m such a nerd.

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November 19th, 2009
10 notes ·

let’s get physical.

So… I got prodded, and poked and eyed and measured yesterday in my personal training evaluation. I did the plank, I did push ups (ed note: tried to do push ups, as I couldn’t do one), I got my blood pressure taken (it’s perfect), my weight taken and my body fat taken.  All in the name of holy-shit-I-want-to-be-skinny. 

Have you ever gained 10 pounds in a second? Because I did… apparently my scale has been off by 10 pounds.  I looked like such an idiot as I boldly stated, “oh I know it already, it’s 155lbs,” WRONG. I was WRONG.

I really don’t understand this as I’ve gone through TWO scales at home AND my parents scale I step onto occasionally, but apparently they’ve all been off because the scale at the gym yesterday settled on 168 big ones.  The good news? I suppose I technically started at 200, which means I’ve still lost 32 pounds. Huh.

I’ll be switching to the new weight as every 2 weeks my ass will get prodded, and poked and eyed and measured and I want to be consistent.

The Facts:

Body Type: standard
Gender: female
Age: 24
Height: 5ft 4 in
Weight: 168.6lb
BMI: 28.9
BMR:1,573kcal (cal I can eat to maintain my weight a day)
Fat %: 35.1
Fat Mass: 59.2lb (fat on the bod, it should be 36lbs)
FFM: 109.4lb  (everything, but fat)
TBW: 80.0lb

The Plan:

This is going to be *that* post. Y’know? The post where I’m one day going to put a link back to and be like, “whoa… look how far I’ve come.”  Every two weeks I’ll update these numbers and hopefully we’ll soon be seeing $3,000 of drastic improvement. I’m excited and nervous and looking forward to the blood, sweat and soul searching the next few months are sure to bring.

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November 18th, 2009
14 notes ·

Wanna know a secret? I’m obsessed with perfection. Obsessed.  All I want to be is perfect.  What’s that? nobodies perfect? Yes, yes I know that, but I still for omigod-reasons-I-can’t-control want my life to be perfect and fabulous.

It’s not.

I’m still fat.  Don’t look at me like that, I’m tired of defending my very obvious spare tire.  I am not a car, yet I HAVE A SPARE TIRE PEOPLE! To be exact, 35% of my body is fat.  It should be 22%.  I know this, because my personal trainer told me this.

I want to be fabulous so much. I want the perfect house (wait.. check, I have one), I want the world’s greatest friends (whoa.. check mark again here),  I want the perfect job (1/2 a check mark here… hello money, yet hello cliche financial people I work with), I want the perfect boyfriend (fail), I want the perfect body (insert epic fail here).

I spent $3,000 tonight on 6 months of personal training, 3 sessions a week. HOLY SHIT I feel like such a failure typing that out. Yes, I need help thatbadly. Wanna know my reasoning? I figured a boob job costs about $6,000. It would change your life, so boo yea! I’m totally getting a discount on a life changing ‘procedure,’ hence? I signed up! Looking back on it… that’s a lot of fucking money… and a stupid fucking way to justify it.

But money is money. Fat is fat. Help is help.

I’m terrified I’m going to fail even with this huge amount of support I’ve paid through the nose for.

My trainer kept asking me over, and over again, “Are you willing to give up things in your life and fully commit?” my obvious answer, was “yes! yes! yes!!!! Obviously! Duh” but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had just given him the obvious, mechanical answer I knew I was supposed to give.

Am I really willing to put in the work? Am I willing to give up things I love? Am I actually willing to say ‘no’?

Fuck, my heart is saying yes, but I hate how I can feel a slight doubt in the pit of my stomach.

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November 18th, 2009
3 notes ·

don’t look at me, i’m embarrassed.

  • fruit parfait
  • 12” turkey subway
  • apple
  • orange
  • tube of wine gums
  • mini (ed note: i LIED, it was a big one :(  )  mars bar

omigod i am perpetually a hungry, hungry hippo today. what is wrong with me?

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November 17th, 2009
6 notes ·
Me: Hey Friend! I'm so excited for tonight.
Friend: Me too! Where/When do you want to meet?
Me: 5pm at the earliest (due to work) and what about Starbizzle in my building?
Friend: OR we could get booooze.
Me: ahh I would, but I'm going to the gym later, need to be awesome and thus sober to run
Friend: Boo to the gym. It'll be better tipsy. Doo it.
Me: I'll go to a pub with you, but just get a diet coke.
Friend: I don't want to drink alone, you NEED to drink.
Me: I'm really not feeling it
Friend: You will afterwork
GAH! This is the story of my life.
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November 17th, 2009
7 notes ·
I broke out the winter attire last night and headed over to The Crush and My Friend’s (they’re roommates) house, where we all ended up at the local pub for tea and coffee. 
I have no idea why, but something was off.  The Crush was exactly the same as he always was, but I didn’t like him.. like that.  Part of me simply thought, ‘his loss’ and for some odd reason, in this divine universe of ours, I let go of my feelings and saw him of what he was; a friend.  (ed note: I say this now, but come the weekend, who knows?!)
In other news I have a personal training, 1 hour session tomorrow at 6pm.  Operation Get Skinny, Be Fabulous, Make Silly Boys Regret Turning Me Down and Run a Full Marathon is under way.  

I broke out the winter attire last night and headed over to The Crush and My Friend’s (they’re roommates) house, where we all ended up at the local pub for tea and coffee. 

I have no idea why, but something was off.  The Crush was exactly the same as he always was, but I didn’t like him.. like that.  Part of me simply thought, ‘his loss’ and for some odd reason, in this divine universe of ours, I let go of my feelings and saw him of what he was; a friend.  (ed note: I say this now, but come the weekend, who knows?!)

In other news I have a personal training, 1 hour session tomorrow at 6pm.  Operation Get Skinny, Be Fabulous, Make Silly Boys Regret Turning Me Down and Run a Full Marathon is under way.  

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November 17th, 2009
10 notes ·

Beauty is Pain.

GOD DAMNIT THESE SHOES ARE PAINFUL. BUT SO PRETTY I STILL WEAR THEM.

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November 16th, 2009
23 notes ·

So… This. Just. Happened.

Oh. Mi. God.

My mom asked me if I’ve ever had sex. It was terrible. It was prompted from me telling her I’m on the pill. Dear God, WHY DID I TELL HER?!?

I was so awkward. Note to self: NEVER ask your future daughter that. NEVER.

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November 16th, 2009
12 notes ·

What? Wait. Really?

Whoa… what? Wait…

So let me get this straight… if I blog about parties, and beer and pizza and medals, and sunshine and shopping and cupcakes and roses and Christmas and all things shiny and pretty, the people out there still want to hear about my weight, food intake, exercise, and lard?

Really?

Huh.

Crap.

I thought distracting them with pretty things would make them content and not wonder if I was accomplishing my one n’ only life goal: LOSE WEIGHT. WEIGH 125 POUNDS.

Fine! I’ll blog about it, but it’s not good… you’ve been warned.

So interesting fact: It’s possible to gain 5 pounds in 2 days.  Things that will help you accomplish such a great feat? Beer, and pizza, and chips, and candy, and big breakfasts, and cookies, and ice-cream, and twizzlers, and making terrible life decisions when it comes to quantities.

It wasn’t good folks, it wasn’t good at all. This morning I stared down at 157 pounds between my tubby toes.  I gasped.

It was like the word ‘diet’ didn’t exist this weekend, it was a foreign word to me, a word I couldn’t, and didn’t relate to. 

I take full responsibility for this and have turned a new leaf on this Monday, November 16, 2009 Autumn morning.

Brownie Promise.

I think my poor-attempts at eating right can be credited to… I’m content with my body. Not happy with it, but content.   I’ve found it’s actually easier to eat well when you’re feeling fat and huge and ugly.  I have not been lately, which has resulted in a ‘care-free’ eating style. 

I must still remember I have a big belly, thunder thighs and arms that jiggle. I’m not putting myself down with that previous sentence, it’s simply the truth.  Yes, I’ve dropped 35 pounds, BUT I’ve still got 30 more pounds to go.

Must. Remember. That.

This week’s goals?

  • Sign on with a personal trainer,
  • Go to the gym 4 times,
  • Don’t spend money (except on said personal trainer),
  • Go to sleep early,
  • Drink lots of water.
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Welcome! I'm Liz, the girl relieved the Internet has 0 calories. South African by birth; Canadian on paper. A marathoner. CrossFitter. Paleo (somewhat) eater. Traveler. Cheese lover. And I think you're great!



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