Morning commute (where leaves were literally falling on my head) 🍁😊
And here’s another one. Simply entitled “hope.”
one of the world’s most wonderful things. and one of the world’s worst.
hope. it keeps you going when the days are dark. and nights are long. pulling us forward to better times. better days. a better life. and so we wait. pray. hope. letting time pass us by. waiting for our hope to become a reality. but then it doesn’t and you look back at all those dark days and long nights. seeing yourself get pulled towards something that doesn’t exist.
hope. false hope. what a waste of fucking time.
Oh Past-Liz, so dramatic.
Funny story. I was exploring the abyss that is my drafts and other blogs tonight (fun fact, I have 696 saved drafts, and I’ve started 27 blogs in my day! Whoa.), and I came across the below broken hearted very dramatic post of mine. And, get this, I have absolutely no idea which guy I was even writing about it in. Crazy, right? I was so hurt and sad when I wrote that, and obviously not in a good place, and now here I am scratching my head on whether this was about guy A, B, C, or D. It’s quite dramatic, I must admit, but when my heart hurts, it hurts hard, and so to any person out there going through heart break right now, I can wholeheartedly say you’ll get over it.
I am simply so sad. And that makes me foolish. Foolish and sad. About you. You’re “happy. Really happy.” When I am the saddest I’ve ever been. The twisting pain in my stomach. The constant checking my phone. I feel so fucking stupid. So stupid for believing you cared. About me. You see, you don’t. You say one thing; you do another. And I lay here waiting at night; lay here hoping; lay here feeling stupid I was so blind to your obvious lies. But that’s the thing, I don’t think they were ‘lies.’ You simply don’t think about me anymore; you’re never reminded to message me; to check on me; to see how I’m doing. And the worst part? You shouldn’t have to. But to answer the questions you’ve never asked: I’m not okay. At all. Fuck. I’m in a horrible place with too many thoughts and the minutes seem like hours; hours like days. I want out. I hate this. I want this all to end. My stupidity. My hopelessness. My inability to open my eyes and forget about you. And her. You and her so happy together. I am dying slowly, day by day, and you don’t even fucking care.
if u go through my phone’s call log all you see is my mother’s number over and over
And my sister’s!
Oh, what a glorious glorious long weekend it was! This was the first weekend in five years I was home on Thanksgiving weekend, and my whole family actually got to toast at the table at the same time, which was pretty awesome in and of itself.
I kicked off Sunday morning with an early morning trip to the barn. I was the only person there, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky as the sun glowed on the red, orange and yellow leaves. Jedi (the dog), LB ( the horse), and I had a fantastic walk through the fields taking in this perfect fall day.
After my ride I zoomed home just in time for my sister, brother and law, and Lily’s arrival. I do not understand what my family used to chat about before Lily - because she was truly the bell of our Thanksgiving ball.
After a game of scrabble, the small gang of us headed out the door for a colourful walk, which did not disappoint. We left the main path for a little off-roadin’ action, where we saw *massive* salmon making their way upstream for the season. The stream in the ravine is just that, a stream, so it was crazy cool to see these huge salmon in it, and quite remarkable watching them use their whole bodies to swim up shallow rapids.
After our walk (and lots of photos!) it was Turkey time! And by that, I mean we dressed Lily up in the most magical turkey outfit of all time. Best $30 I ever spent, thank you very much Amazon!
The outfit was an hilarious hit, and although I think Lily will hate us when she’s older ("#TBT to that time my family dressed me up as a Turkey") it was totally worth it. I just wanted to gobble her up - soooooo cute!
Then, in the crammed kitchen of people cooking this or that, my sister and I made the world’s easiest pie! Ta-Da!
For all you American folk with Thanksgiving in November (wha? so late!), here’s the recipe and I HIGHLY recommend it!
And then, of course, there was Thanksgiving dinner! Nom Nom Nom: turkey, roasted potatoes, carrots, beans, pumpkin, gravy & stuffing (oh my!).
We went around the table and all said what we were thankful for in each of our lives. I, of course, have TONS to be thankful for because at Thanksgiving 2013 I was unemployed and living with my parents(!), so my oh my, so much has changed in the past 52 weeks. We also toasted to my my salary increase, my brother’s new apartment, and beautiful baby Lily’s first Thanksgiving, to name a few top items.
We also went around and said what we’d like to have accomplished by Thanksgiving 2015, and every single one of us said one of our goals for next year was to be down in weight (phew! so it’s not just me!). So we handed out post-it notes, and wrote our current weights along with out goal weights on them, and tucked them away in an envelope entitled Thanksgiving 2015. It was quite funny, and it was quite humbling for me, I must admit… my goal for 2015 was 150 lbs. Certainly a decent goal, but also quite attainable.
And then the clock ticked on, and Monday has somehow now come and gone, but not before I slept in like a rock star (11am!!), cleaned my apartment, helped my friend Courtney power through some excel documents, and then went on an exploring 5k walk through Toronto’s brick works with her.
So yup, all in all, this long weekend NAILED it. Happy Thanksgiving Canada!
Happy Thanksgiving! 🐔🍁 #niece #thanksgiving
What a beautiful fall day 🍁