I really wish food wasn't so tasty. That way I wouldn't be going to the gym right now, but instead home, to sit on the couch, and not eat food. Instead, I'm going to the gym so I can go home tonight, sit on the couch, and eat cheese.
i am a crash in slow motion. everyday edging towards my horrible fate.
i’m standing next to the road. screaming to myself. watching myself drive towards my obvious doom. no matter how much i scream. tell myself to hit the breaks. to bail from the car. to stop heading towards the wall. nothing works.
everyday i’m watching myself make stupid decisions. decisions I would shake my head at if i saw others do the same. decisions that are not who i am.
he’s using me. i can see it. i’m certain of it. i’ve seen others go through it before. i’d turn my head and sigh. how could they not see it? open your eyes to your fate. move on friend. it’s time.
but here i am. doing the exact. same. thing.
watching myself be someone i’m not. waiting. and texting. hoping. it’s a matter of time before I crash. then burn. fall over and cry. i know this. so very, very well. yet here i stand. watching myself head towards the wall.
My trainer does not believe in long distance running. And to be honest, over the past few weeks he’s actually convinced me that running marathons is not the way to go for me (SAY WHA?!) especially as I always seem to get injured (I’m looking at you knee), and my weight didn’t just “melt off” in 2010 when I ran two marathons. He believes that marathon training alone doesn’t mean complete fitness and that it only makes people fit for a specific task - to cover distance, but it is not well rounded.
Last week I seriously debated dropping the idea of a spring full marathon, and instead making my final spring goal a 1/2 marathon - aiming for a 2ish hour time. This would mean more crossfit, less running - what my trainer believes is the way to go to achieve my goals (the goal obvs being to shed the final 25).
But last Wednesday in bed, I realized the thought of not running a marathon sincerely sucked, so I emailed him…
I’m sure you’re sleeping right now, as you rise n’ shine at an un Godly hour, but… bad news bears… well, depends on how you look at it…
My knee hurt today - a lot actually, so I’ll have to (assuming you had a workout planned) withdraw from tomorrow. I haven’t run in over 3 weeks, and feel it should definitely not be hurting this much anymore, which naturally means the gym (most likely the treadmill sprinting) is too intense.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about our conversation yesterday, and figured honesty is the best policy… when I walked into GoodLife Jan 2010 I joined to “lose weight and run a marathon,” but since then my priorities have changed. Running has become a huge part of my life, and I absolutely love it, whether it’s the slow way, bad way, whatever way, it’s become a massive part of who I am. The feeling of crossing the finish line is like no other, and I really, really want to run one this spring. (I can see you shaking your head from here).
For the first time in my life something other than “lose weight,” has become my #1 priority. I want to “run a marathon in under 5 hours.” The shitty part is I truly LOVE LOVE LOVE your workouts (in all their intense, sweaty, glory), but fear we are on different pages… don’t get me wrong, I want to get fit, I want to lose weight (I’m still classified as ‘overweight,’ borderline ‘obese,’ so yea… trust me, I still wanna lose weight), BUT, like I said, running a marathon has become part of my lifestyle now and who I am. I absolutely love it. Nothing beats setting the goal and then crossing the finish line, and I want to make my #1 goal to cross the finish line of a May marathon (injury free - very doable) and unfortunately if my weight loss process gets slowed down because of that… it’ll have to be.
I fear you’re going to think I’m lazy, or stupid, but I’ve thought about this a lot, and the thought of not running a marathon this spring is heartbreaking. I think my #1 goal right now should be to fix my knee (physio), then ease back into running and incorporate strength training??
I’m a shitty writer, so I’d prefer to have this conversation in person… especially as I’m not sure I expressed myself well, and as I’m honestly interested in your opinion, although I have a funny feeling you’re going to call me stupid… and say, ‘oh Liz… no.’ I realize I want the best of both worlds, which may not be possible, but running a marathon is #1 on my list right now…
So yea.. it’s been on my mind… Liz
My trainer Responded with,
I appreciate your email. You are a passionate person and that shines through :)
Stupid and/or are not adjectives I would use to describe you so keep those out of the conversation!
With regards to your knee there are a ton of things we can still do so next time come in (I promise it will be just as intense…but different!) I understand that running is a huge part of your life and that running a spring marathon is a serious goal. So if it’s a must then we will make it happen. Yes, I said we can make it happen this spring…now for the but: you do it my way or I can’t train you. I mean that with the most sincere, caring tone, but really I can’t stand by and be a part of something that does not make any sense based on science, education, certifications, readings, articles, studies (both peer reviewed and anecdotal) or any other evidence. The most concerning piece of evidence to me is that your body is breaking down.
I don’t want you to feel that I am dictating which direction we head in. The truth is you are in the driver’s seat. If you wish to do it your way that is fine I will refund what is left of your sessions. If you wish to continue but finish after our sessions wrap up that is fine to; and ultimately if you wish to continue I will be here every step of the way. As I said this is not my job, I do it because I love it and because I see how badly you want it and I get inspired by your determination.
I’m here to walk side by side with you but it’s a leap of faith on your end and I understand that you know what’s best for you. As an aside, I am attending a seminar on Saturday and I am only available at 5pm…I’m also available Friday at 630 which is better?
I’m nearly positive his, “you do it my way,” means I won’t be doing any long runs, which makes no sense to me, and terrifies me… but yes, this is where I stand with fitness right now. 1. Fix Knee. 2. Run a marathon 3. Lose weight.
If anyone has any insight into marathons vs crossfit, I’d love more info… as I’m pretty clueless, and slightly feel like a child wedged between two parents (running coaches and trainer) trying to convince me to join their side…
“if a goal does not have a timeline on it, it’s not goal, it’s a dream”—
The above? The above describes my “goals” perfectly. That’s me. That’s what I do. I create all these things I want to do in my head, but never with timelines or deadlines, they just roll on, and on (and on!) and thus I never fail at them, but I also never succeed at them.
it’s sounds so cliché, doesn’t it? to lose weight, feel good about yourself, look your best (or better), and then run into someone from your past. someone who had burnt you. someone who had really hurt you. but despite how cliché that is, what sweet, sweet victory it is…
it happened to me this weekend. three times over.
three times over because at the party i was at on saturday night, there were three boys from my past there. two of whom i hadn’t seen since pre-marathon running days.
the first was a boy of firsts. they always seem to hold a place in your heart. there was a hug. followed by a kiss on the cheek. a step back. and a whole body review. “you look unreal… you been running?” [someone’s been facebook stalking admiring me]. “only a couple of marathons, you know… the usual…” i smiled. he smiled. he twirled me around. “wow. you look goooood.” i accepted his free drink, then didn’t talk to him the rest of the night
the second was a boy my silly heart once skipped beats for. in the best of times he was a world class asshole. always too cool for school. the last time i saw him we had fought. i was nervous to see him. my stomach did a somersault. he smiled at me from across the bar. and came over for a hug. a free drink was received. and silly compliments [that made me blush] were given. silly compliments that meant something to me. they meant something to me because this boy never gave compliments before. it was nice to finally hear.
the third was a boy i had an infatuation with. in 2009 many a minutes were wasted on his facebook page or holding my phone waiting for a text. when alcohol and dancing were involved, i often found him by my side. but in daylight? he’d have nothing to do with me. i didn’t talk to him saturday night. i saw him looking at me, we smiled across the room, but we didn’t talk. but then at 3:27am, as my records prove, i got a text from him, “disappointed with that hello/good bye missy. you looked good. real good.” i didn’t text back.
isn’t this all so cliché? i’m not supposed to say life is better 50 pounds lighter, but i really have yet to be proven wrong.
On Monday I’ll not be late On Monday I’ll eat a good breakfast On Monday I’ll drink lots of water On Monday I’ll work hard On Monday I’ll skip the sugar On Monday I’ll order a salad On Monday I’ll go for a run On Monday I’ll not snack On Monday I’ll cook a healthy dinner On Monday I’ll skip desert On Monday I’ll go to bed early On Monday I’ll do it right
I won! I won! I won this beautiful bag from the ever so lovely Miss. Meg Burns. Thank you! How exciting is this? I NEVER win things (proof is in the pudding: I’m 0 for 18 at winning at Roll-Up-The-Rim-to-Win! As in I have bought 18 coffees and never won once. The odds are 1 in 6. #CanadianInsidersOnly)
This is going to be the most shocking thing you’ve heard all day. No really, it will be… I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but… I didn’t think Rebecca Black’s Friday song was that bad. Granted, she wakes up in full makeup, sings about cereal, waits for a bus, but then her 12 year old friends show up in a convertible, she wonders where to sit when there is only 1 seat and then she sings about her friend to the right, still wondering what seat to take, there is a random rap scene, and she informs me Saturday comes after Friday, and after that is Sunday, and of course, nothing really rhymes, BUT… truth be told… when I watched it for the 1sttime I didn’t really mind it. [I know you’re judging me right now, but what you fail to realize is I’m currently judging your mother]
Remember how I gave up pop, cheese and fries for lent? Well, I’m pleased to announce I haven’t let a sparkle of pop touch my lips since then, but cheese and fries? FAIL. Wait, correction, EPIC FAIL. WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS? Answer: It’s not, I just look to it for comfort. [whoa. that was deep]
My knee still hurts. It sucks, a lot. There is a 30k (20 mile) race this Sunday I REALLY wanted to run. Sad times there. I even debated dropping my “spring marathon’ idea, BUT that made me all sorts of sad, so I’m still fighting for my right to party run.
You know my post yesterday, about “what’s your #1 piece of weight loss advice?" Well, 221 people answered, and I read all the responses and thought it was very interesting there really was no consistent theme. On this note, you know my "So, You Wanna…” posts? Well, I finally have my “So, You Wanna Lose Weight?” post done, but I’m too nervous to post it, as I feel y’all aint gonna like its, “eat a lot less, move more,” vibes.
Put this in your pipe and smoke it. Second bitches – and I don’t even follow anything to do with basketball. The fact 2 of my final 4 are out? minor details folks, minor details.
I feel like I’m getting fat (again). I’m perpetually hungry these days and I swear free food keeps falling into my mouth (Mon: free small McD fries / Tues: free Starbucks Muffin / Thur: free wine gums). Why can’t I say no to ‘free’ food? Answer: Because I have zero will power.
I’ve been reading a lot of Runner’s World’s Lose-Weight-Running articles and disagree with them so much. They need contributors who aren’t natural runners/skinny. Running does not equal weight loss.
The upset last night on American Idol hurt my soul. America! You really dropped the ball on this one. I, of course, can’t vote because we don’t have telephones or the Internet in Canada, so I’m placing my hope in the tweens of America… Scotty and Casey final 2! Make it happen kiddies…
I’m really into Pretty Little Liars. My God, why wasn’t my 4 years of high school as exciting and pretty and dark as theirs?
Today marks 5 work days of wearing ZERO makeup.
Tonight? Why thank you for caring (shut up, you so care). Tonight I’ll meet 3 of my favourites for delicious pub carbs a SALAD at dee local pub. It’s one of my favourite places ever. And I’ll be with some of my favourite people ever. Thus good things (and gossip and happiness) will occur.
Tomorrow? Sleep. Spring Cleaning. Bedouin Soundclash Concert (be jealous). A really pretty lady’s 25th birthday party bash here. I’m pretty excited to buy her shots and get her drunk… I’m an awesome friend like that.
I single handedly convinced my gym to get hair straighteners for the women’s washroom. I’m persuasive (and awesome) like that.
Tumblr has been an asshole lately.
A guy in my office has gained a lot of weight recently (not that I’m judging), but today he told me sincerely, “my pants seem to be shrinking.” He’s still in denial. Ah yes… I remember those days - such bliss.
Happy Friday you guys! Don’t forget… tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes after … wards, and I don’t want this weekend to end.
There are many things I won’t try to sway someone’s opinion on… politics, religion, sex, vegan, whatever - to each their own, I say, BUT one thing I truly believe in and will absolutely try and change someone’s mind in is pet adoption!
I realize lots of people don’t like dogs, or don’t have the time or money for dogs, which is all good (I, myself, don’t own a doggie, because of my lifestyle – sad), but for those who ever plan on getting man’s best friend, please consider adopting.
I won’t bore you with the details, as I’m sure everyone already knows the number of homeless dogs around the world is high, but one thing that really yanks my chain, grinds my gears, chaps my ass, burns my bacon, pushes my buttons is when gorgeous, beautiful, kind hearted dogs have to be put down. Until there are no more dogs in shelters there isn’t a reason for the average person to get a dog from a breeder or pet store.
On Monday morning my sister and I rented a large cargo van, and along with 2 other people, headed south of the border to pick up 42 dogs. The dogs had made the trip to New York, all the way from two pounds in Georgia and Ohio where they were on the kill list (the mission we were part of).
We were the dogs’ final stretch of the volunteer-driven trip, picking them up to take them to a big, old farm in northern Ontario where they’ll eat, drink and be merry (this place is like doggie camp) until they’re adopted by loving families.
The entire day was incredible. I’m a crazy-emotional-cries-at-dogs-in-commercials type of girl, so I was a little worried about that, but knowing all these dogs essentially had just won the doggie lottery made the entire day a very positive/happy experience, and something I plan on doing a lot more - as I’m sure you can imagine, it was a very rewarding day.
Not sure I really need to answer this, as I feel it’s obvious… because why not?! :) About 6 months ago my sister adopted Sally through Pet Finder.com. She got her loveable pup from CampLotsaDogs in Ontario, which is an organization that finds shelters throughout the USA and Canada, comes in takes all the dogs out of a kill pound. My sister was on their email list, and two weeks ago saw they were looking for volunteers to pick up 42 dogs in New York. She asked me to join, I said yes, so we did it.
It’s pretty much how it sounds. We rented a big van. Put our Tetris skills to work by cramming as many crates into the truck as possible (border control only allows 1 dog per crate – annoying), then drove across the border, met the other volunteers who had driven the stretch from Ohio to New York, made the switch in a small park, and then drove back.
Crossing The Border?
Crossing the border was easy, as we had all the dog’s vet statements and official documentation. We were pulled aside at customs to ensure everything was in order (they were checking for dogs younger than 8 months (not allowed), and to ensure all the dogs had vet papers – aka rabies shots), The border guy told me he was a “huge dog lover” admired the dogs, and we were on our way. SO EASY.
So, You Wanna Adopt?
Yay! Do it! The best place to start is PetFinder.com. Type in your location, a breed you may be interested and any other characteristics you may like. Keep an open mind though!
Just think, when you have a mixed breed dog, there is only one of them in the world! Their temperaments tend to be better and they’re healthier, lower vet bills and they live longer!
There is a dog out there for everyone, out of the 42 dogs they ranged from tiny to huge, puppy to adult in every colour imaginable. Find a dog that suits your lifestyle, want a snuggle buddy who only needs a short walk a day? Bob the beagle looks he may fit the bill. Choose an older dog that resembles breeds that are generally a bit slower. Like to jog and want a dog to come too – Magnum may be a perfect fit.
Even if you’re a breed snob (which I must admit, I kinda am - Rhodesian ridgebacks hold a special place in my heart) there was a dog for you! Purebreds to loveable mutts (on that note, if you are a breed-snob (no-judgment here) there is usually a breed rescue for every breed such as Golden Retriever Rescues, Lab Rescues, or for me, Ridgeback Rescues… so look into the breed of your choice!) Lots of purebred dogs end up in bad situations too, Chevy, a boxer was all skin and bones but will be a gorgeous dog when he fills out. Also remember, a dog is a dog, they don’t care what they look like.
Another reason people don’t want to adopt is because they want a puppy. First of all there are a lot of puppies like Bella and Ali that need homes, so tick the ‘baby’ box on petfinder. Remember though, puppies grow up so fast and it’s amazing to get an adult dog, they’re grateful for you, and they know when they have a good thing. Sometime’s they’re already toilet trained and if not their bladder control is much better, so teaching them to go outside is a breeze. Puppy dirrehea is a very nice stage to skip! Puppies really aren’t compatible with that many people’s lifestyles, they wake up in the night ready to play and require constant supervision.
Think about your lifestyle and the kind of dogs you’re drawn too, ask for help when talking to the rescue group they may be able to point you to the perfect dog.
Meet a lot of dogs until you click with one, don’t feel pressure to take a dog home if you don’t think it’s quite right. There is a perfect pet out there for you.
So, You Wanna Volunteer?
Across this good world there are many worthy charities looking for volunteers to help, and I highly suggest getting involved, if not just for the selfish reason of getting an incredible experience out of it, knowing you’re doing something fabulous, and getting a high off from it in the coming days (true story!).
There are tons of ways to get involved, dogs need walking, playtime, feeding, baths….
Ask a rescue organization near you how you can help. You can also foster dogs! This works very well if you would like a dog for a few weeks at a time. You’re helping the dog become a better citizen, teaching them how to live in a house and exposing them to lots of different things so it will be easier for them to find a new home.
Like I said the dog’s varied in everything, including their origins. There were two lhaso apso’s whose owner had to move to a nursing home, five chihuahuas from a hoarder who was busted in Georgia, a beautiful golden retriever who fell on hard times – so yup, they varied!
Their new home is a farm up north, where they’ll be fed delicious doggie raw food and play in big pens, while they wait for people to adopt them. So go to PetFinder.com, which is an AWESOME, AMAZING, website with TONS of information about adopting dogs across North America and find a buddy. The longer you wait, the more love you’re missing out on.
i had a good day today. everything went right. if i could plan out a passing tuesday. i would have planned out march twenty second. nothing big happened. nothing new happened. but everything was good.
i wasn’t late this morning. that’s huge, i’m absolutely always late. my eyes weren’t puffy from tiredness. so yea, that’s always nice. i was charged for a tall, when i ordered a venti. But shhhh, that’s our secret. work went smoothly. my stocks were up. there were dollar signs in my eyes, i won’t lie. my lunch salad lady noticed my absence yesterday. this brought a smile to my face. i went to the gym without mentally complaining. this really never happens. i pushed myself further than i thought I could. i saw my potential, it was rather exciting. i took a hot bath. and smelled really good after. think vanilla and open skies. i made a healthy dinner. didn’t have carbs, but the amazing part? didn’t realize till after. i reached for the cheese. stopped myself half way. wow, and you thought things couldn’t change. i got the mail. my new EU passport arrived. need i say more? exactly. i spoke to a friend on skype. good things are happening in his life. obviously that’s nice. [that really wasn’t supposed to rhyme]
i’m going to bed now. it’s early for me. before 11? i’m just as shocked as you. nothing really happened today. just another passing day. but everything was right.
I just wrote a long (and witty and awesome and witty, and like, the best series of words ever put together in the English language, ever - obviously) post, and then? and then, of course, tumblr decides to go ka-powy on my ass, and I lost the whole thing. So…
As I’m an exhausted beast who has no caffeine in her veins, and as I have to rise n’ shine before the clock strives 6, to drive to New York to save 15 doggies from doggie-heaven (which ps. I’ll be tweeting my adventures throughout the day!), I need my shut-eye, hence… a photo post it is? it is!
There was food this weekend! Lots and lots of glorious food. Not to mention, lots and lots of glorious caffeine and/or wine (sometimes together). I ate out as if I didn’t have a home, but to be honest, I think I made some really good choices… as my trainer said, it’s not restaurants that are hard to eat healthy in, it’s food courts… [sidenote for Canadians: I am 0 of 11 in Rolll Up the Rim - WHAT THE HELL?!]
Saturday morning I danced the waltz with my trainer and once again reached a level of exhaustion I didn’t know possible (sprinted 1 mile on the treadmill at 8.2, which is a pace of 7.19/mile, ya… I know… think about that. Thankyouverymuch).
Rant: I HATE HATE HATE my gym’s showers (see below). Seriously, I would LOVE to have a conversation with the person who decided women don’t like doors or privacy when they shower. SERIOUSLY? WHO IS THAT COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR BODY?!? Answer: Not Me. Bastards. Anywho, luckily the gym was dead, which allowed for these creeper-type shots, and for me to rub-a-dub-dub in these awful showers… (it’s true, the creepy things I do for Little Blog has no limits)
After the gym (because I planned ahead yo) I met up with my sista and brotha from the same motha (really, I met up with my siblings), where we went on a ridiculously long walk where I complained the whole time because my legs hurt from the gym. They were unimpressed. Sidenote: I’m awful at skipping rocks, mine just went plonk.
Saturday evening I went awkward-party at it, but I’ll leave that story for another post… because apparently I’m ”perfect friend material, but not girlfriend material.” I think that ups the count to, what? 17 guys telling me that to date. I heart my life so much.
Sunday was all about horses and caffeine (and food). At one point, I even thought I was a farmer (see bottom, right photo - those huge pants used to fit y’all!)
I didn’t run this weekend (knee still sucks), and can honestly say I missed it (say wha?!) BUT huge congratulations to everyone who ran this weekend, whether it was a 5k, 10k, 1/2 or full marathon, I’m mad impressed and jelly.
I’m in a boring/lazy mood today, despite it being Friday and sunny and Friday. I don’t know why. Perhaps my 5 hours of sleep each night this week has finally caught up with me?
This morning I was told I look like a, “druggie model,” to which I responded, “more model, less druggie, I hope?” to which he replied, “90% druggie, 10% model.” My colleagues are so awesome.
The weekend before me slightly scares me - the thought of not being able to think of 4 consecutive hours I’ll be home to nap is awful. I AM SO LAZY AND JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND WATCH MTV’S REAL WORLD AND THEN SLEEP SOME MORE.
On that note, my weekend is insanely busy, and I just realized I am eating out 5 times(!!). Holy Eff – that makes me all types of nervy; money and calorie and alcohol wise.
My running group is running 29k on Sunday and the route looks awesome… I hate how I can’t run it, but on March 27th there’s an actual 30k (20 mile) race I plan on running… so I’m staying off my knee. Dear Muscle Memory, I’m relying on you, Love E.
I have Monday off. YAY!!! I’m driving down to the States in a big, old van to rescue a bunch of doggies, and then drive them back to a Canadian farm, where they’ll live until they get adopted by loving families.
Horsey riding will occur on Sunday. Giddy-up!
On Saturday I’m going to a birthday party of a guy who asked me for my number, and I was all sorts of awkward and didn’t give it to him. It will be the 1st time I’ve seen him since then… Red, my face is going to go red. [I’m going purely to be a wing-woman for another friend]
My ass hurts from the gym when I move. I like to think it’s the muscle having a brawl with my cellulite. [This just in: The muscle is winning, but the cellulite is putting up a fierce fight]
I received an email telling me my blog doesn’t have enough ‘scandals’ on it, which is funny, because the last few months have been super scandalous for me… I suppose I’m just not blogging about it. This could be because of those annoying Toronto, IP addresses that keep hitting it up and are obviously being “blocked” and/or “redirected,” aka they’re people I know IRL.
I’ve been receiving a fair number of questions through the tumblr “Ask” feature (some of you are way too nice btw, thank you so much!). I try to respond to as many as possible, but emails always take priority, so if you have questions, please email! (esp. if you’re anon on the ask feature)
My trainer emailed me last night, “great job today.” He’s a winner of a trainer, I am a lucky girl. I have a date with him Saturday… it’s gonna be good.
O.k., o.k., I told you I was in a boring/lazy mood, as I think this post nicely proves. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s my favourite part of the day - lunch time y’all! HAPPY FRIDAY!!
There is a [Skinny] Pot of Gold at the End of the [sweaty] Rainbow...
After a hectic afternoon at work (re: trading error. it sucked. wasn’t my fault. lots of $$ lost. got blamed. scared to go to work tomorrow. not the point of this post) I headed to the gym to pound it out with the trainer.
So yea… holy hell, I’ll let my email to Rob explain the workout, even though he called me, “melodramatic,” which pshh please, he’s just an angry, little leprechaun today…
It’s true too. For those technical people out there, who actually know/care about gym stuff, this is what went down in the last 20 minutes:
Row 500 meters on one of those rowing gadgets, but I was encouraged told I had to keep the big number on the dial under 210 (I think it’s energy you create? Not sure exactly. I know, I’m so gym savvy)
21 Burpees (I linked it, because, I too, was all like what the bollocks is “burpee?” And then I gasped and remembered my grade 5 self hating them too)
Sprint 400 meters on the treadmill. The treadmill was at 8.7. FYI That’s f*cking fast for me. Like you guys, deadly fast.
DIE (as in I couldn’t talk, as in I was showed where the bucket was I could puke in, as in massive workout cramps in my stomach)
I had actually planned to meet up with friends for a green beer post gym, but was way too exhausted/sweaty to go. Exhibit A:
Eww, sorry about that (hehe I’m so not really sorry, suckas). After a much needed shower, I made a DELICIOUS healthy dinner comprised of turkey, tomatoe, and a delicious array of roasted, healthy veggies… nom, nom. nom!
I should mention running is completely different than working out in the gym. I think I’d prefer to run 20k than do the workout I did tonight, however, as much as I love the accomplishment feeling of running, I always feel exhausted after a long run, whereas right now? right now, after the gym? I feel stronger.
But today’s real lucky charm? me knee didn’t hurt *fist-pump*high-kick*eeeeek*!!! I didn’t run far, but baby steps folks, baby steps… 26.2 miles to be run in May.
I’ve been foam rolling my thigh like a mad woman these days, and sadly I still feel knots. UGH. The below photo is crap quality, and really does not do my IT Band bruise any justice, but ta-da! It’s like I’m hardcore or something..
And Boom! I’m now watching American Idol, and you are officially caught up on my pretty lame St. Patty’s day.
Here’s to hoping you all get lucky tonight, because I’m certainly not.. well, just with my TiVo.
Sitting in the sun (hello Spring!), in a Starbucks writing emails, and listening in on a first date. My God, the guy won’t shut up. He hasn’t asked her one thing yet, it’s all been about him…
Dear Boys, if you want in a girl’s pants ASK QUESTIONS. Love E
[Ed note: I realize I am the last person anyone should ever take dating advice from (like, ever), but for reals, it’s been nearly an hour and I could tell you his life story, and not one thing about her]
Food! Because y'know... I'm still a weight loss blog at heart.
The Trainer and I had the dreaded nutrition talk last night, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T EAT LOTS OF CARBS AND THEN STILL LOSE WEIGHT? THIS IS NEWS TO ME?! To be honest, I learned nothing new, he pretty much just told me, “don’t be stupid and naïve, you *know* how to lose weight, now just do it” (wise man).
The major changes I’m making are no dairy (say wha?!), proper breakfasts (bacon/eggs not low fat fake food like yogurt/bran flakes), and apparently fruit? not a snack anymore, but a treat.
The name of the game will be eating REAL food, and including the “right” kind of fats into my diet - hence the olive oil / bacon / whole eggs / avocado (as they’re filling and good for me).
Another way of looking at it? I’ll not be eating anything that if I were to show Emma, my Great-Grandma-ma, she would mutter, “what the bollocks is that?” (side note, but related note: Think of showing someone in the 19th century a twizzler and then eating it in front of them… those things are delicious plastic.)
To sum up, my current eating rules are (ps, I rarely have set ‘rules’ for eating, but need a change, as I can feel myself slipping into a I-Don’t-Care-and-I-wanna-eat-everything-in-sight phase):
No eating after 8pm (or dinner, sometimes I get home at 8)
A skipped meal, is a meal gone forever
Incorporate the right fats into my diet
No Dairy (Dear Cheese, I already miss thee. Love E)
When I’m hungry I eat real food
Lots of water (“lots” for me is a litre a day)
Dinner Last Night: Brought to you by my iPhone: Asparagus / Brussel Sprouts / Stir fried Turkey / Zucchini / Onion with Salsa. You guys this was SO DELICIOUS.
"Desert": Brought to you by my actual camera, it’s an orange! And twas delicious too.
Breakfast (Wed, Thur and Friday): I call the below photo… PETA: People for Eating Tasty Animals. KIDDING. But I planned ahead and scrambled 7 whole eggs and cooked 6 pieces of real ROUND (no clue why it’s round, my mom likes to throw curve balls at me once in a while) bacon for Wed/Thur/Friday’s breakfasts.
Let us not beat around the proverbial weigh-in bush, I gained weight in the past 2 weeks. 2 solid pounds to be exact (I’m thinking 1 on my stomach, and 1 on my ass, perhaps?).
I deserved to gain weight. I ate to gain weight. I was lazy enough to gain weight. The equation to weight loss is simple; eat less, move more.
I ate more (I’m looking at you ice-cream), and moved less (I’m looking at you couch).
One thing, however, I do know is this, if it’s not working, you *have* to change something. If one continues to see the scale maintain or go up, something has to change in an attempt to get better results.
Wishful thinking does not work. (< - learned that one the hard way).
And thus I’ll change something. These things:
Excersie: My knee still hurts (walking is o.k. now, but running? Not-so-much) so I’ll up my game at the gym with The Trainer, which btw, you should simply picture me on an episode of the Biggest Loser to get an idea of the intensity of these workouts. You guys, I sweat from weights! I’m one of those people…
Food: As y’all already know, I believe weight loss is 95% food, thus I must (must!) eat less. Now I’ve never really admitted this on Little Blog, but I’m a night grazer, I am? I am! It’s in the hours after dinner I consume the calories that will later find their way to my stomach and/or (depending on the day) ass. This needs to stop. I’ve heard Oprah (in her glory days of losing weight) never ate past 8pm… perhaps I should try this? I’ve also heard if you don’t wake up hungry, looking forward to breakfast, you ate too much the night before. I never wake up hungry, which means Operation-No-Food-After-8pm will commence tonight… this is going to be hard… prepare to hear me complaining (<- your warning).
And thus, onwards and upwards downwards I trudge..
March 1: 147 March 15: 149 Gain/Loss: +2 Total Loss: 51 Total To Go: 24
Ps. I’m so impressed with myself for actually posting a gain! Usually I just post pretty, shiny, things when the scale heads north, in an attempt to distract you. It’s true, I think my readers are moths.
I spent the weekend watching more news than I’ve ever watched in a span of 48 hours. What happened, and continues to happen, in Japan is absolutely devastating, it really made me realize how little and irrelevant us humans are, part of me finds it really amazing we’ve survived for so long… whether a God exists, the big bang theory happened, random science occurred, it is still an incredible miracle we’re all alive and have been given a chance at life.
Life is a gift, and sometimes it is terrible events like the earthquake and tsunami in Japan that bring out the best in humans; working together, helping each other, and caring about people whose lives would never otherwise have crossed our paths… even if it’s simply by donating $10.
When we work together, us humans, can do truly amazing things.
It’s all in my head, 100% of this game I play, is all in my head, that, I finally know.
When I reached one hundred and sixty pounds for the 1st time I stepped off the scale glowing. I was thrilled, I was ecstatic, I strutted to work that morning, I wrote this post, I looked people in the eye, I was happy with myself, happy with the person I was, happy because I thought I was skinny…
I spent over a year and a half at one hundred and sixty pounds, and during that year I went from feeling skinny to feeling huge, fat, ugly, lazy, and useless…
All at the exact, same, weight. See? It’s all in my head.
All of it.
I weighed one hundred and fifty on Friday, that means I was up three pounds from March first’s weigh-in, this also means that I spent my weekend feeling fat, unattractive, and huge, even though a mere month ago I was on top of the world a single pound away…
They say success depends on how you perceive yourself; change the way you think, change the way you live… but what they fail to tell you is how. How can I get to the point where I can look at myself in the mirror and not hate what I see? How can I turn my thoughts off? How can I perceive myself differently?
I still see myself as 200+ pounds, isn’t that weird? I had heard this often happens, but never thought it would happen to me. I’m smart, I’m not naive, I’ll be able to notice… but I haven’t, and it’s really (really!) frustrating. I am just as self conscious about myself as i was fifty pounds ago… something I’d like to change, but don’t really know how.
I just want to look in the mirror and not have my head run wild on me. I want to be able to hear and read nice comments and believe them. I suppose, to be honest, I really just don’t want to care anymore. But, sadly, I still do, and I really don’t know how to change this…
Blogging seems fairly inconsequential today, after the devastating news from Japan. From my warm, corner desk, in the comfort of my swivel chair, I’ve been reading all the big news and social media outlets, and through this disaster one thing I’ve clearly seen, is everyone coming together.
It’s nice to know the world pauses for a moment (even if it’s for just a few seconds) when such a disaster happens and everyone extends their thoughts and prays to people in need, and countries around the world lend a helping hand and step in.
It really puts one’s problems into perspective. My thoughts and prays are with the people of Japan, and those affected by the tsunamis.
Day one of Operation-Hell-No-Pop went incredibly well. I should also note, I added the world’s most delicious food cheese and fries to my Oh-Hell-No-In-The-Name-of-Lent list. Pray for me.
My IT band bruise is a beast, and makes me look hardcore. However, sadly(?) still no running for me as it definitely still hurts. Luckily there are 3 marathons in May I’m considering 1st, 15th or 29th, so I have some options if my knee takes a while to heal.
Sometimes I get very overwhelmed having a blog. Like, I feel this intense pressure to be cool and witty and have something fabulous happen in my life. I feel like all my readers will bail the minute I stop running, the minute I confess to a burger n’ fries, the minute I misspell a word, the minute I stop losing weight, the minute I’m boring…
It’s a lot of pressure.
I used to be really good at distinguishing my life and my blog. They were two separate things, both complimenting each other, yet always remaining separate and apart. I lived my life not thinking about blogging, and then would mention my occasional shenanigans on One Twenty Five; it worked well.
Overtime, something changed. I found myself constantly writing in my head (is this what happens to all writers?), constantly thinking of ways I’d blog a certain situation, taking photos not for myself, but for someone else… and honestly, it suckeds.
I do, however, think this is a natural occurrence, bound to happen to anyone who starts a blog about their life, an unfortunate side affect… living to blog. I want to go back to my old ways, to living my life in the moment, and not thinking about you, or this, or writing, but it’s really hard, and I don’t quite know how.
I’ve received emails before with that little sentence in them, “I want to be you,” and I wanted to scream through my computer, “no, no, no!” Blogs are the best versions of ourselves. They’re the people we want to be, through the good and bad. So please know, as much as I love, love, love my little space on the Internet, it’s not perfectly me, because of that dam pressure I feel (undoubtedly all created in my head) to be cooler, and wittier, and way more fabulous than I really am.