Just wondering.. how do you not get bored when you run such long distances? I see that you'll do runs/walks as long as 20k. I've tried music, tv, reading, running in new areas, ect... but I just can't seem to stay entertained/motivated for that long. What is your secret?!
I like this question because I do have a secret. An embarrassing secret about how I don’t get bored.. are ya ready for it?
I download *super* trashy love novels and listen to them while I run. Like, I’m talking super trashy.
Which means if you see me trudging my ass down the street while running, I’m not listening to music, oh no… I’m listening to, “Her voice quivered like a plate of Jell-O on a fault line, and her body was soon to follow,” or ” “Long auburn hair flowing out behind her, dress billowing in the breeze, Cassandra had given in to gravity’s pull and hit the pavement like a bag of fresh phlegm.”
Oh yes, they’re that trashy! Talking book romance novels are usually about 3 hours, so I get through about 1 a week.
I also think a lot when I run, about myself, my goals, my life, which seems to pass the time quite nicely, or I feel like I’m about to die, which results in thinking, “one more step, I can do it…” I suppose if I’m being completely honest boredom when running doesn’t strike me too often, I’m usually in another world (with my romance novels, the neighborhood (I love looking at houses!), or just getting the distance covered.
You’re 16 right now and your life is so fun and carefree.
These are the things I wish I had known 8 years ago. The things I really believe will help you be the best person you can be.
Take more time to do simple and silly things with your friends. Spend more time playing outside and less time worrying about work and tidying your room. Don’t slack on homework, you do have to study. Your summers are precious: do not waste them. Continue horse-riding after high school, you’ll miss it so much once it’s gone. Read more. Try to go to sleep earlier. Watch less tv. Take bubble baths. That boy you have a huge crush on will one day surprise you in the most incredible way possible. Always be yourself. Spend more time walking your dogs. Take lots of photos. Write more. Keep a journal. Do not weigh yourself a thousand times a day. Don’t gossip about others. Don’t gossip about yourself. Respect yourself. On the night of June 14th, 2003 do not get into the truck with John Anderson. Don’t stress about university, you’ll get into your number one school. Do not spend money you don’t have. Yes, you will be able to live without those shoes! You’ll end up in England for a year and love it, spend money you don’t have on museums. Try to understand Chris more. Embrace your curls. Things happen for a reason: when you don’t get the world’s most perfect job that you want so badly, you’ll land an even better job that you thought wasn’t even possible. Buy Google. Don’t ask, just buy it. Sell everything you have in the stock market October 2007, and…
My absolute, number one piece of advice is lose the weight. Don’t be upset, just do it. The power to do this you can obtain, you just need to search a little and you’ll find it. I promise. This may seem like a shallow piece of advice, but it will be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done. By losing the weight you’ll have nothing to blame for the obstacles that will one day stand in your way and nothing to stop you from fulfilling your wildest dreams.
E, you’ll go on to do unimaginable things either way, but you’ll have one less thing to worry about. You deserve the best. Be the best person you can be.
PS. When you see a ‘fake’ snake in the basement, do NOT try and pick it up. It’s real, so RUN.
I never understood why people wouldn’t give their exact weight on their blogs. What was the big deal? You’re a weight loss blog, trying to lose weight, people won’t judge the number, as that’s the point, isn’t it? I’ve even received questions, “how do you find the courage to post your actual weight so openly?” and honestly, I never really understood why those people didn’t. Until now.
I feel like a con.
I’ve been watching my weight steadily increase over the last few weeks, and I’m doing nothing about it. It’s like watching a crash in slow motion. I’m just sitting here, shocked, while stuffing my face.
I make promises to myself, to you, but in the back of my mind I know I’m not willing to 100% commit. The doubt is just there, tucked away. And when I swear to myself this time will be different, part of me knows in that moment, it won’t be. I don’t know how to get rid of that doubt.
I can’t seem to find the will power, the strength to eat healthy. I use running as an excuse to eat too… 'but I'm running so much, so I can eat this, and that, and this, and that..' but I can’t, not even a little bit, not even at all.
Gaining weight back is an awful feeling. Especially for the 3rd or 4th time. I want to find a diet, find a program, get my act together, but that God damn feeling of self doubt, the feeling of ‘who cares’ is there, giving me permission to fail.
Like I said, I feel like a con. Weight loss blog? my ass. I haven’t lost any weight in over a year. I’ve broken more promises to you, and to me, than I can count. I still have big dreams, big fantasies, and I still really, really, like omfg really, want to lose the weight. But I want to wake up and be skinny magically tomorrow, I don’t want to put in the work, which leads me to a dead end road.
What the fuck are you doing? One step forward, two steps back, just like your whole life. Isn’t it amazing how you can look at yourself in the mirror, hate what you see, and then still eat? Amazing or ridiculously stupid? This is your life, your one life, and this? this is the way you want to live it? It’s now or never. The support you have is outstanding right now, the only person holding you back is you. Think of clothes, and guys, traveling and Australia. Commit. That’s all it takes.
I've been following your blog for a bit. First as a creeper, then a (now defunct) tumblr and currently as the name you see now. First, you are wonderful. I love the pics of food and following your posts. Second, is there a certain diet your follow, like The South Beach Diet?
Thank you for the kind words and no, no there isn’t a diet I’m currently following. I’ve done the South Beach Diet before, and like all other diets it works if you do it. I lost 20 pounds on that one and then gained it all back (and then some).
I’m currently in the market for a eating-well-diet. Any one know of one?
No Body Said It Be easy, But No Body Said It Be This Hard (<-- lie, they totally did)
I’ve always thought the whole God-Damn-I-Ate-Too-Much-And-Now-Have-To-Lose-Some-Weight thing was all about balance.
Balance between veggies and carbs, sleeping and running, stairs and escalators, a balance between yes and no. I’m a big believer it’s possible to live your life and still lose weight, I believe this, because I’ve done this. However sometimes? Sometimes it’s really hard.
Last Saturday was one of my absolute best friend’s birthdays and (wahoo!) she was actually in Toronto to celebrate it (she’s been in The States getting her MD), so it was a really big deal that for her 25th birthday my group of friends could celebrate it with her. We had made plans to celebrate her special day the following Friday (tonight!), and not on her actual birthday, as she was heading to Niagara with her family.
Fast Forward to Saturday night, when I’m at my friend, Cozy’s house surrounded by beer-drinking-boys when she called me;
Birthday Girl: Hey! I got home early, what are you up to? I want to go out tonight for my birthday Me: Ahh, I’m at Cozy’s place, with Boy #1 - #8, they’re all drinking and about to head out, but I’m heading to bed as I have a 10 Miler race tomorrow morning, but go out with them! I’m sure they’d love to see you. Birthday Girl: What?! BOOOOO, why would you book a race the day after my birthday? ditch it! Come out, it’s my birthday! I don’t want to be the only girl. Cooommmeeee!
It was honestly one of the hardest decisions ever, and I felt like such a shitty friend, but I chose myself that night. I chose to head home to bed, so that I could run my 10 miler the next morning and in exchange I ditched a good friend on her birthday.
I was so sad about the whole thing the next day, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that weight loss is sacrifice, it’s hard work, and often doing things you don’t want to do. So I can tell you until I’m blue in the face, ‘it’s possible to live the same life and still lose weight,’ but it’s not, and that sucks, it’s about choosing yourself in the right moments, and putting yourself first from the begining to end of each day.
Ps I plan on hosting her one hell of a good party tonight! :)
I was standing in the shower and started crying. I couldn’t stop crying for a long, long time. I felt like I was in a scene from a movie, because I was being all dramatic and naked and teary eyed, but I just couldn’t stop.
I took 2 glorious days off from work, which meant I had a FIVE day weekend.
The FIVE day weekend lead to LOTS of horse riding, in weather that made me sweat from just looking outside.
I named coffee my #1 best friend.
I started hill training (omigod kill me now). I ran a 600 meter hill 4 times, and nearly DIED each time. True story. I have literally never in my life been so sweaty. I will eventually be running that 600 meter hill 10 times in a row.
I ran a Ten Miler (16k) race. And did it in 1h 58min. Terrible. Like, awful… I am so unfit this season (last year I did 15k in 1h 40m, and 21k in 2h 20m)
I lost myself.
I found myself. I think. I hope.
I dressed up as the Naked-News for a themed party, where everybody had to dress as something that began with the letter ‘N’ (to celebrate the birthday girl, whose name starts with a ‘N’). I was very, very self conscious in my costume. The best costume I saw that night was someone dressed as a ’Never-Nude’ from Arrested Development - sooo funny. A boy asked me for my number this night. It was a happy night.
I hit One Hundred and Seventy Two Pounds. %*@$
I lost 6 Pounds.
However, due to #10, #11 isn’t that awesome. I currently weigh 166.
I made a sad, sad decision. Horse riding this summer will have to take a back seat - because my long runs with my Marathon group are on Sundays and I need their support.
I celebrated Pride week in Toronto. Lots and lots of fun.
I spent a lot of time at my sister’s new house. Super, super awesome.
I created the most awesome mohawk I’ve ever created in my mohawk-shower-creating-days. It was so tall, you’d be proud.
I planned an August trip to BOSTON!!!!!!
I got a new blackberry. Hello BOLD how you doing? What’s that? You can now actually take decent photos? Excellent.
I got stressed out at work.
I went to a funeral. It was so beautiful. I cried a lot. There were about 15 of us standing under a big tree, next to the casket listening to a pray, when it started to rain. There was something soothing about the rain. Something about it was good for my wandering soul.
I saw LADY GAGA!!
I wore shorts running, and my thighs rubbed together SO BADLY I thought they were bleeding, but they weren’t. Phew. I had to waddle around the next day.
I was walking home from a run during the heat wave (so think super red face, super sweaty hair, and overall just looking oogly looking) when a boy stopped me on the street and asked for my number. I was so taken aback I responded with, “really? even though I look like this?” He called me that night and kept emphasizing I had a beautiful face, which is what he liked, and he’s not a “body man.” Complisult much?
I bought a Garmin watch and thus learnt my pace. I’m super slow.
I had to make a really hard decision. A post to come on this later.
I became terrified for the Chicago Marathon. Terrified. And have seriously been wondering if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
I realized that no matter what happens, the sun will always rise again tomorrow and life will go on.
I’ve written this post fifty times, all from different angels. There’s a post saved in my drafts where I drop the F-bomb about thirty times, and then another one where I’m all vague about why I stopped blogging for a bit.
But here’s the truth.
I found out Boy- Roommate, who shall never be named on this blog again after this post, had been reading my blog, this blog, since January. January! And naturally he had gone back through all my archives.
The story is pretty long, complicated and most likely boring to anyone whose not me, but I’ve been incredibly torn up about this whole thing over the past two weeks… And here’s why:
He found One Twenty Five, back in January, by taking my IP address from my regular/non-weight loss blog (the blog I give to my friends), and inputted it into some sketcho program (which I still think is illegal, despite him saying it’s not (cough he won’t give me the name of it cough)).
The program allowed him to scan the entire Internet for anything produced from my IP address. This meant he instantly found One Twenty Five as well as anything else my computer had generated online (PicassaWeb albums, my “draft” blogs, my blog to my mom ect). This also meant that when I changed the name from One Twenty Five to Fabulous125, it didn’t matter, because anything generated online from my IP he could see.
He then redirected his IP address to some random country in the world, and continued to read my blog over the last 6 months.
I felt so violated and lost from this. Even if I had accepted my loss and moved on from One Twenty Five, I couldn’t start a wordpress, blogspot ect. because he’d instantly find those blogs too, which in my opinion, was wrong. He took something I loved away from me, and I was on the verge of ‘hating’ him for this.
To say I was livid is an understatement. I wanted nothing more to do with him after I found that out. To consider yourself my ‘friend’, when you go to such great lengths to invade my privacy, and then move in with me while reading my blog is insane and creepy to me.
The worst part of the whole thing? Boy-Roommate and I used to hate each other in high school, and I always thought he hated me because of my weight (probably in my head, but nonetheless I thought this), so it was particularly terrible that he found my blog. He’s also very tall and very skinny, so how on earth did he relate to my blog? and Why was he reading it? were my questions.
The day I moved One Twenty Five to Fabulous125.tumblr.com he instantly saw my post about him, and that night confronted me. He told me, and I quote, “you can’t hide, you may as well move it back.”
After a bitter few days, and me making arrangements to move out, we ended up having a fairly lengthy talk, where he apologized a lot, and told me his curiosity got the better of him. He said had he known what he’d find, he wouldn’t have looked for it. And then because of who I am, I forgave him, after he swore to me he’d never read it again, and would take my IP address out of the program (I’m still not sure I trust this though).
So yes, there that is. I have no idea if any of that even makes sense, as I left some parts out because it was too complicated. I learnt a lot about myself during this whole thing, such as there is no such thing as being anonymous online, who my friends are, and are not, and (excuse me while I toot my own horn) that at the end of the day I believe I’m a better person than him, which oddly makes me happy and able to move on.
I’d also like to note that one characteristic I’d use to describe myself is I forgive and forget, nearly to a fault, and thus get walked all over a fair bit, but I promise you and you, Boy-Roommate, I will never forget this.
Enough about that. And back to blogging now!
Yay! (<— that’s you (I Hope) and me!)
FAQ About this (I’ll update this as they come in):
He also swore he told nobody, and at one point implied he’d blackmail me with it. To which I responded, “well that’s your decision, not mine, and that will be a severe judge of character either way, you can decide.” I actually do believe he has told nobody though. At least he did that for me.
I lived with him because I was pretty desperate, and didn’t want to move out of my place (it’s so pretty). He was willing to pay, and we had become friends in the last year.