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Now that I’ve got your attention… the scale this morning? 165!! To say that I am smiling ear to ear is an understatement. I’ll update a new graph and scale photo after my run tonight in this beautiful weather.
Oh Happy Day.
Warning: You may or may not be bombarded with lots of photos of me today. Phat style. (hint: you will)
OMIGOD Keith Urban is coming to the ACC October 3!!! I NEED to go, damn all my friends for thinking country music is “uncool.” I may or may not buy two tickets in the hopes that I can persuade someone to go with me… don’t judge.
Thank you ladies (Insomniacmeg and Hurricane-K) and to all others who comment, email, reblog. I read everything and greatly appreciate you taking the time to give me your advice, thoughts, and encouragement. Everything (good and bad) warms my heart and despite the last week’s posts I’m still in awe of seeing my weight in the 160s and am very happy with my progress. I try to write as honestly as possible which I think sometimes comes across as more depressing? than intended.
There aren’t many words this morning to describe how I’m feeling. Last night I told you that the scale said ‘170,’ this morning? ‘171.4.’ What.The.Hell?!
The main reason this GREATLY sucks is because I did vary from my regular eating habits this weekend, but I *thought* I was varying well. Apparently not.
I never eat carbs for breakfast or lunch, but this weekend I did. 1 cup of bran flakes at breakfast and I had a sandwich for lunch Sunday, I assume my body devoured the carbs and slapped them onto my ass.
I should note that this recent lard gain, may or may not also be contributed to the TWO meal replacement bars I ‘accidently’ ate yesterday.
I’ve also realized this weekend, that reading other weight loss blogs, watching weight loss shows etc, is NOT always motivating, it’s sometimes discouraging. Perhaps this is just me… but I *sometimes* feel jealous of people losing weight and then become discouraged myself, as apposed to finding motivation from their story. Does this make me a bad person? I think this may make me a bad person… I’m good, I swear!
BUT, as disappointing as this is, I don’t want to dwell on it… which means I must turn April 27th, 2009 to May 4th, 2009 into a PERFECT EATTING/GYM WEEK.
I’ll update this throughout the day:
\Monday, April 27th, 2009
1 cup bran flakes
1 med FREE McD coffee
Spinach salad with tomatoes, onions, chicken and a sprinkle of feta cheese
10 brussel sprouts
4 egg whites scrambled with zucchini, onions, and tomato
As my friend and I were on our way to the washroom last night at Hemingways….
T: Have you seen his latest photo album on fb? It’s an entire album of himself flexing. E: haha, really?! Who does that? Asshole We Had to Walk By: I wouldn’t do *that* (referring to me) either. Hell no, you’re fat.
I didn’t say anything, just kept walking, but this A-Hole ruined my night. Fucker.
To alcohol... The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
So here’s the deal: I often joke about ‘drinks after work’ and ‘my love of wine,’ but when it comes down to it, I’m terrified of drinks after work, as I know it can make or break my week. Calorie wise.
I’m sure some people think it’s simply ridiculous to consume alcohol while trying to lose weight, *cough sister cough,* but it’s a large part of my social scene and I refuse to ‘not live my regular life’ while on this journey (I never went out or got myself into drinking situations last time I lost weight… and I never learnt how to cope once I was off the diet).
I’ve spent a fare bit of time googling what the best option to drink is and (sigh) I think I’ll be passing up the red wine for white rum (66cal/shot) and d.coke (a flash back to Queen’s where I was always a rum and diet girl).
In anticipation of tonight’s booze consumption I’ve eaten very healthy today and plan on eatting perfectly the rest of the weekend. I’m not sure if this will help (I hope it will), but at least I’m trying… right?
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how I need stop waiting to be skinny to live my life. This is my life, lard n’ all.
When I write it out like that? it sounds ridiculous, especially as I realize that being skinny doesn’t make everything better. I’m sure I’ll still get moody, stressed, feel insecure about myself and no knight in shining armor will scoop me off my feet and profess his love for me… but I continue to pass up opportunities because I feel insecure about myself, and often have the mindset, “I’ll do that once I’m smaller” (ie. travel, nyc, change jobs, buy pretty dresses, wear heels shopping etc).
However, I must admit that a small part of me thinks that my life will change for the better once I hit my goal weight. The simple fact of more confidence will help me immensely and hopefully translate into me trying more things (ie rock-climbing) and/or being more spontaneous (ie. Giving my # to the cute investment banker I keep running into… o.k, I say this, but it would NEVER happen… ).
I need to ensure that when my life flashes before my eyes at the end of this road, my movie will be worth watching, which means I have to change my mindset to a) I’m worth it, and b) F*ck others who judge me. . This makes me nervous, but I’m going to give it a shot…
Yea! for internet that actually works, yea! for a 20 minute walk to work, yea! for a 20 minute walk home, yea! for my weight maintaining despite all the eating out, yea! for the condo looking beautiful, yea! for the salad I ordered when everyone got pizza, yea! for my extra large coffee, yea! for my fabulous roommate who is very health conscious (aka will help me eat properly) yea! for it not being Monday, yea! for a long apologie email from this friend, and yea! for all the photos I’m about to upload.
booo! for missing GG last night due to “technical issues” fcking ctv.
Update: So… I may or may not have got sidetracked from the above list. Umm….. I watched the Boston Marathon, three! episodes of 30 Rock, some makeover show and then made a delicious lunch. I called Best Buy to see if they had tiVo in stock (they didn’t, so I’m staying put) and my run is seriously looking less likely every second as the rain pounds the windows. Moral of this update: my day off = lazy day, and I’m loving it.
My scale and I have officially launched from the parents pad. Eeeeekkkk. So exciting. The place is coming together beautifully and I can now walk to work (as apposed to my 1+ hour train ride commute each way).
I’ve eaten out for the past 4 meals and tonight I’m supposed to head out on the town for dinner with my sister.
I’ve been trying to order healthy, but there really is a limit to “salad please, balsamic on the side” you can have…
I have so much to report on, but there is still so much to do. I have the day off tomorrow so hopefully I’ll find time to upload photos and make a meaningful post on “omigod-life-just-got-so-much-more-exciting,-but-holy-crap-I-think-I’ve-already-gained-weight-and-it’s-been-less-than-48-hours-this-is-going-to-be-f*cking-hard…-gah!”
"Fuck, we’re having pizza as an office for lunch, how do I curve ball this one? Hmm… oh excellent, I just remembered I have a meeting at noon, score! Oh shit, I just realized it’s a lunch meeting with only 4 people (and I’m the only girl), fuck…"
Oh real life… you’re always fighting to keep me chubby, but NO MORE!! I will portion control and carb-reduce this meal. Brownie promise.
As you may know from my ‘omigod new condo’ posts, I’m finally peacing out of the parent’s pad (I like to be gansta sometimes) and into a beautiful condo with a good friend, Vee, this Saturday.
We’re planning on having a BIG housewarming party in May, where present friends and past friends will grace my presence. I say ‘past friends’ simply because Vee has stayed in contact with nearly everyone from high school, whereas I have not (by choice I might add).
That being said our housewarming party = mini 5 year reunion = omifg I need to look good = big motivation = a new mini goal.
I’m going to aim to be in the 150sby May 31. I don’t care if I’m 159, as long as the second digit in my weight is a ‘5.’ I realize this isn’t a huge goal, but my routine is drastically changing (what?! you mean my mom won’t be buying and prepping super healthy dinners for me anymore?!?) thus, I’ve set (what I think is) a realistic goal.
I should also warn you that the volume of fashion posts will most likely increase, because umm duh, I need a new GREAT outfit, that from a glance lets the high school crowd think, “Damn E looks fine,” and/or, “Damn, E must be doing well for herself,” and other things which are inappropriate for this blog. (Hush up! you would do the same. Don’t lie)
“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good.”—